Defining or understanding polyamory can be confusing!
We are a Closed Poly Family. We have an understanding that all three of us would have to agree in order to add any other person into the family (whether another child or a new lover). We don’t participate in sexual activities with anyone outside of our group. Our life is about deep loving relationships-not necessarily sexual and THAT part of our poly relationship we share with others outside of our group.
For starters there are many different forms that Polyamory takes. Also there are different ideas of what it means!
Just between those two issues a person could go on for hours digressing into a variety of subtopics in an attempt to get a clear understanding.
That would be a waste of time and energy (unless you really like doing that sort of thing) so for the purpose of making OUR polyamory clear for anyone who deigns to read about us here, we’ll give you OUR explanation of what it means to us.
Please understand this is a very personal explanation. In no way are we suggesting that this is the only way or a better way to live poly, only that it’s our way. :) This is based on our personal OPINIONS.
Our focus is on the concept of Love in polyamorous. This is another word that leaves a lot to be desires in regards to clear consise definition (or lack there of as the case may be).
We watched Avatar recently and I was touched by the way the indigenous people in the movie acted/considered the concept of love. They maintained a deep connection not only to one another-but also to the world around them, the plants, the animals. They felt pain when there was unnecessarily death or loss of anything on their world. That to me is what I think LOVE is. Not sex, not romance, not need, not desire, but deep connection with all.
For me love has always been deeper then a word, a saying. It’s not JUST an action either. Recently I’ve come to explain it as a series of choices that lead to actions which create a lifestyle. It’s a devotion to stick by your decisions and the ensuing consequences of those choices with a positive, pro-active, helpful, friendly attitude. It’s about setting an example that leads others to see and understand your “worldview”.
n. In both senses also called Weltanschauung.
- The overall perspective from which one sees and interprets the world.
- A collection of beliefs about life and the universe held by an individual or a group.
[Translation of German Weltanschauung.] .
Our worldview has similarities to Henosis (you can look that up on Wikipedia).
But I find it simpler to explain in terms of StarTrek.
We are like the Borg. In Star Trek the Borg was an invading enemy. However in this case lets presume the Borg which I am speaking of is the “good guys”.
“God” would be the equivalent of the Hive, or the Borg Queen.
We as people would be the drones. We’re out here (on Earth as living beings) collecting and creating experiences for the whole. Once all “learning” is done, we will all be re-assimilated.
THEREFORE it doesn’t pay to do harm to your fellow man, because we are all actually ONE. When you harm one, you harm all, including yourself.